Where did I leave off, when I was blogging on a regular basis? Was it before I went to Florida the second time? It's all a blur, and the Maison de Papillon is no help to me because to go back and rummage through it all is confusing.

Came back from Florida the second time after several months, there was serious addiction that I knew about ahead of time, and was prepared for, and it was a real-life "I'm on a mission from God" sort of thing. Hey, after a few years of personal blogging, I am totally rid of all self-consciousness and shame. I say what I mean and mean what I say (more or less.)

So I came back a ragged mess, and I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have come back at all. I fled.

But God redeemed my running home, because 3 days later something tragic happened, and my daughter needed my presence. I was right on time, in a strange kind of way.

A separation, and rehab. Deliverance and healing, all by the hand of God. Answered prayers, freedom. Miracles.

We reunited. And came to our Promised Land, together.

We're both amazed at how different our histories are, yet how parallel our paths run. How the timing is so amazing. How it was so meant to be all along. He is the one I loved as a little girl, my first crush. He's the one I bonded with later on, when he was doing time, through letter writing. And he's the one I married 2 years ago when he took my face in his big hands and looked into my eyes and asked me to be his wife. To take his name. To share his life with him. I said yes, following my heart before my brain could kick in. My brain had it's say a few months later, creating a year long separation. It hasn't been easy. It wasn't a picture-perfect situation from the beginning, but the whole deal has been faithfully submitted to God in prayer, over and over again, through a mixture of tears and rejoicing, and everything in between. The finished product is a very real and solid love, that's growing every day. It's a mature kind of feeling, new to me. I know for a fact I've never known anything like this. I'm ok with the fact that God had me wait this long in life to experience this. Or maybe it was my own doing, this wait, not His. That's ok too. If you're not ready, you're not ready.

We came together at a crucial time in both of our lives, when we needed each other the most, yet didn't know it. I thought I was going to rescue him from his pit, but he ended up rescuing me from mine. I helped him with mental bondage, he helped me with a more physical form of it... as in, he got me the hell out of there.

It's been hard, especially when we weren't together, and there were a few times I thought there was no hope left. But we held on, and the rewards are bountiful. It's a clean and simple life. On solid, high, safe ground. We are established in the Lord, both personally and as a couple. I never knew this is what marriage felt like. Or was supposed to feel like. I would have wanted this along time ago if I knew it could be like this. Why did I avoid it all those years?

We read in the Bible and pray together, not every morning, because we're not religious, no, but we maintain our faith and we thank God each time we eat. He says, thank you God, thank you Baby, and I laugh. That's his prayer. So I started saying it too.

We eat good food but simple. Our oven is gas so everything tastes extra good, especially the baked chicken. You'd think I'd be fat on all the grub we eat but no, I'm not. I'm actually liking being in my 40's very much.

My hair is long. Baby, don't ever cut it again, he told me. I won't.

The cardinals here are so red they make every other shade of red I've ever seen look pale. They're like a neon red. They light up the trees like little glowing winged fireballs. Outside our back window is a wall of pine trees, tall ones, the kind that inspire you to want to write again. The neon redbirds sit on the branches like visiting royalty. I say visiting because they never hang out for long. The squirrells do, though. The pine trees seem to be home to lots and lots of them. They run up & down the branches and chase each other. All this, right outside our back window.

Alabama is beautiful. I had no idea. Not only that, but our particular location is a delight. When we take our walks we're treated to huge old mossy oak trees lining the sidewalks, and really big old restored mansions going all the way to Downtown. We do alot of walking, and we love every minute of it. How can you not walk in a place like this? Just last night I said to him, ...remember 6-35? Aren't you glad we don't have to do THAT anymore?? Neither one of us want to live in Texas. Ever again. (Sorry Texas.)

I don't mean to sound like a tourist's brochure, but one more thing about my new home: the LIBRARY. The library is.... is..... AMAZING. It's this big old historic white building that looks like a courthouse, and when you go in it feels like a really modern bookstore with cool lighting and music section & barstools and tables to sit at, like a coffee shop, then you go further through it and find yourself inside this big open room with a marble floor and big STAIRCASES that go every which-way, and you pick one and go up it, and find yourself with all these different LEVELS filled with SO MANY BOOKS! And internet rooms! And private reading cubbyholes! I was like, what on earth?? They make libraries like this? I guess it has really special funding or something, like not by the government, but by wealthy old people. Because for this to be a public library is really something.

The library sits on the edge of Downtown, which is right on the bay. People do some fishing there off the docks and piers, but there's no beachy places there. For us to get to the beach is about an hour away. Downtown is chock-full of art galleries and cafe's and parks with tame squirrells and statues of important people. Old churches are everywhere and the sound of bells going off in the distance can be heard regularly. It's a simple place, and humble. But beautiful. And the people here are so friendly.

How we got here is so funny. We just decided in less than 5 minutes to come here. He did, actually. He just did. My man just said "pull up a map online" and I did. The rest is history. I could write a REALLY LONG DETAILED BLOG about how we got here and what these first 3 months have been like, and maybe I will. A supreme adventure, for sure. You never know where the hand of God will take you. I had no idea I'd be living here. And I had no idea how much I'd feel at home here. Right off the bat, I sensed that I was home. I never had that feeling in Florida.

It's not easy when I reflect on the last 5 years. Some things, no, lots of things are just now dawning on me, things that I was too out of it to comprehend at the time, or it would have been too painful to acknowledge at the time, when there was nothing I could do about it. I guess you could say I have been in denial about some things. But our defense mechanisms are there for a reason. Sometimes you need the fluffy insulation to protect you. Some things need to be mentally digested over a period of time.

Here in my Promised Land (it's a state of mind, btw), things are real. Love is spoken, and Truth is walked in. Prayers are offered up that are drenched in praise and thanksgiving. Words of consideration and respect are shared here. Here in my Promised Land, I am valued, and I know it. No false lip-service here. I care, and am cared for.

The promises of God are real, and they will come to pass if we wait on His leading and trust His timing.

What inspired this one was a real mouse that's living here with us that I've known about for a week but just now told him about. I've been feeding it, actually. I can't help it. It's so cute and runs across the floor so fast and lives so secretly in the closet. He scared me the first time I saw him. I scared him too, he didn't know I was out here in the living room, all the lights were off. So far I've fed him cereal, 2 Doritos, and some peas. Then I confessed yesterday about it. This is how I confessed: I said, when mice live in your house, what all bad things do they do? Are they bad like rats? And he said, no, rats and mice are like night and day. Mice might try to get into your food, but that's about it. Then he asked why I said that. I told him about our friend.
The verdict is, the mouse gets to live here with us. All our food is safe, there's nothing he can break into. And I plan on keeping him fed on a regular basis anyway so he won't have to steal anything.

I can hear him in the closet, now. He's a night mouse.

on this one I just made the steam move up and dance around a bit, I was going to make the spoons and sugar packet move too but then I thought that would be creepy.

I just decided it's going to be Kritter, not Critter. Kritter-with-a-K.

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Shall I start writing again?  Something tells me I should.
Let's just jump right in and get down to business. I'm getting a cat tomorrow. Her name is Critter, already, and I haven't even seen her yet. A ridiculous name, but whatever he wants to name her is fine with me. He names pets like that. Our dog in Florida was named Rascal, and that's only because I talked him out of Varmit. Yesterday I figured out how to make .gif images, I had no idea it was that easy. I feel like I just landed on a whole new art planet. I could have been doing that all along. I could have been making little cartoons that move all along. It's like the in-between place of videos and images.

(I think you have to click on it to see it move)